By: Paul Croteau
Date: February 14th, 2010

While office romance can occur at any time, it seems that the month of February, and especially Valentine’s Day, focuses a bit more attention on the issue.  And the issue for organizations is whether or not their managers should or should not interfere in the private lives of their employees. But, is a romance at work really a private affair? The answer is, sometimes yes and sometimes no.

For instance, a workplace romance between a manager and a direct reporting employee is particularly dangerous for organizations. This is a power relationship that might lead to favouritism, breaches of confidentiality and concerns about professional ethics. This type of romance can also put the organization at risk, especially if the relationship ends badly. At the very least, when a workplace romance doesn’t work out, the individuals still have to interact every day creating a constant reminder and perhaps a sense of failure which can potentially impact productivity. Worse even, a sexual harassment lawsuit might well follow. Inevitably, someone will feel the need to leave the organization.

In general, workplace romances can lead to excessive gossip and a general feeling of negativity. People will stop being as open and sharing and may feel like they are at a competitive disadvantage.

While everyone knows that an organization can’t legislate against workplace romance, it is strongly suggested that managers receive training in how to deal with this type of situation. As well, it is important that managers be fully aware of your sexual harassment policies and be prepared to take immediate action.

So, if workplace romance can’t be legislated, then it is up to individuals to be as professional as possible. This means that you need to:

•    Think carefully about your personal risk before engaging in a workplace romance. What consequences could occur as a result? How will you handle things if the romance doesn’t work out? Are you prepared to transfer to another department and/or leave your current employer?

•    Think carefully about how your actions might impact your colleagues and/or the organization. Would your relationship be viewed as harmful? Would it be respected? Is there a potential for conflict of interest? Will you be creating jealousy or ruining another friendship?

•    Familiarize yourself with organizational policies, particularly the policies related to workplace behaviour, sexual harassment, respect in the workplace and make sure that you abide by them.

•    Retain your work commitment. Especially in the early throes of a romance, you will have the tendency to wander from your worksite to visit your loved one or you may be spending too much time on the phone.  Stick to your job and get your work done to the best of your ability.

•    Be discreet by ensuring that you avoid public displays of affection. Otherwise you will make people feel uncomfortable.

•    Keep your personal communications personal; in other words, do not use company email to send personal notes.

•    Respect other peoples’ personal boundaries as in most cases they won’t want to hear about your romance. Not only is this a waste of company time, you will probably be sharing more than what people are comfortable with.  Therefore, don’t discuss your relationship with anyone else.

•    As with any relationship, choose a workplace romance wisely. Determine if there is truly any commonality and/or if the only thing you have in common is work. Long term relationships need to be based on substance.

•    If you do go ahead with a workplace romance, decide together how to present your relationship at work. Seek out advice from your human resource manager and determine how you will relate to each other at work; set some rules for yourself.

We spend a good deal of time in the workplace and so it seems natural that this might be a good place to find a loved one. This path however can be fraught with many pitfalls that can cause problems for everyone concerned. In general, the safest choice is to avoid a workplace romance whenever possible.


Research and Review by 6P Marketing

Paul Croteau, B.Comm., CMA, FCMA is a partner with Waterhouse Executive Search Partners, a Canada-wide executive search firm. He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 204-934-8821.